Filipinos celebrate Mother’s Day every second Sunday of May, for this year, it falls on 13th May. For me, today is nothing out of the ordinary, except that I got several Happy Mother’s Day greetings from family and friends.
But what got me thinking is the role that I have played as a Mama to Ate Adz, Manay Jai and Kuya Jul. I have been away from them for a good part of their lives, been absent in very important moments of their lives. I wasn’t available in times when they needed a shoulder to cry on, wasn’t there to cheer them on in times when they’re down, wasn’t around to witness their triumphs. I realized I was not even a friend when they needed one.
I have I missed a lot as a mother, and while I always say I love them, they may not have really felt that I do. There is a huge difference between telling each other “I love you” on the phone and looking each other in the eye while we whisper “I love you.” The phone cannot substitute the hugs that a mother so long for. Technology might have brought us closer together, but not the closeness that we desire.
I cannot have the whole cake and eat it, too. I win some, I lose some. True, but while I am very thankful and grateful for the good thoughts on Mother’s Day, this is also one of the days when I really feel the pain of being away from home. It is on this day that words from Jul saying “why can’t you just stay at home, Mom” ring more loudly that I cry.
I may already be done with three fourths of my life, a little less or a little more, and I am asking God, with the little time I have left, that I maybe given the chance to be able to still create memories, with my children, with my grandchildren. Lord, is it too much to ask?
Happy Mother’s Day to @ManangGeorgie, @Carol, @AteDoreen, @AteInday, @ManayEbeb, @Ammegs, @Jing, @Em-em, @IndayGem, @Jade, @Inding, @BebeHon, @Ai-ai, @BebeJen, @Nikki, @Bebel. Also @ManongBob’s daughters-in-law and of course, my @IndayAdrienne. Inday Adz will always hold a very special place in my heart.
We are all very lucky and blessed, not in the ways we want but what God wants us to be.